If anyone can discover the location of the Adelaide Crows, please tell them their presence is required for the balance of the 2018 Toyota AFL Premiership competition.

From the score alone, it appears as though the women’s side was on the ground at Adelaide Oval on Friday evening, as the Crows managed only 58 points on their home ground in a 106 – 58 loss to the Collingwood Magpies.

Magpies and Crows are remarkably similar, save for the sporty long white tail of the former, but it was two birds of an entirely different class that took to the ground in Round 4.

We have long suspected that the Crows could not be expected to do well at MCG, as evidenced by last year’s desultory performance in the 2017 Grand Final, but it now appears that the hex is carrying over to the degree that simply playing a side from Melbourne is a prescription for losing.

The Crows did not have anyone available to prevent Jaidyn Stephenson from heading back to Melbourne with a five-goal haul.

The Crows head into Round 5 with Pies on their faces. Collingwood outplayed the Crows in most of the key statistical categories, including disposals, contested possessions, tackles and hitouts. Other categories were close, but the telling mark would seem to be that the Magpies were doing all the kicking.

Despite trailing by 57 to 66 percent in their kicking efficiency, the Magpies took so many more kicks that they were able to post 16 majors and 10 behinds, leading every quarter and jumping out to a 32 – 7 advantage following the first. The lead had swelled to 33 by the main break, remained about the same in the third quarter, but the Pies sent the Crows’ followers home early with five goals in the fourth quarter, erasing any dreams of a late surge by the Crows.

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