We just finished watching the multi-national players playing under the flag of the U.S. beat the multi-national players playing under the flag of the Netherlands 2 – 0 in the final of the 2019 FIFA World Cup Football Tournament in France.

It may be that we lack nuance or sophistication, but spending over 90 minutes watching in order to see 17 seconds of scoring action is the precise reason, one of them at any rate, why the game of football played entirely with the feet has yet to resonate with us.

For the record, let us state that we composed those first two paragraphs without one single mention of gender or equality.

One of the Yank players, Megan Rapinoe, whom we will not label as woman, man, robot, or any other label that might seem non-inclusive, did not have any issue expressing her views.

Along with the usual pay gap issue that punctuates Rapinoe’s statements, the leading HSR (He, She, Robot) U.S. player seemed to exclude inclusivity by making statements to the effect that is was improper to schedule the final of the World Cup on the same day as the finals of the Gold Cup and Copa America Cup.

Rapinoe issued a rambling, mostly incoherent diatribe in the direction of FIFA, but Rapinoe made one thing abundantly clear.

There is way too much soccer being played. Far too many cups, far too few saucers.

Expect to see the other codes suing soccer for equality in the number of games.

All this whinging almost caused us to overlook the final of the “Wife Carrying” competition in Finland.

We had to use the quotes around wife carrying because there is no stipulation in the rules that the competing couples be married or otherwise connected.

Couples from around the world took part, including some from Australia, where wife carrying is strictly taboo.

“It’s summertime and we just want to have some fun together,” said event founder Eero Pitkanen. “It’s great to see our small town put on the map because of this.”

Being included on the map is a true sign of geographical inclusivity, but what will not be so great is when the lawsuits demanding that the wives be allowed to carry the husbands make their appearance.

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